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Burnout

Don’t you dare to stop being productive! Do something, Anything. Just not nothing.
You have to keep track.
The only known silence is a silence fraught with menace.
Work.
Plan.
Anything.
Is it right?
Am I wasting my resources?
Am I even able?
How do I know?
Who can tell?
Not the silence.
Start a project.
Schedule a meeting.
Work.
Work.
Silence.
Menace.

Energy.
caffeine.
Racing heartbeat overhauls the silence.
Work.
What is the most efficient way?
Am I efficient?
How do I know?
Who can tell?
Silence interrupts the heartbeat.

Don’t stop.
keep track.
Work.

My thoughts on pretty much every day.
Sometimes I can take a step back and what I do is wonder whether this is just me or if there are other people out there, stuck in this never ending race.
The kind of race with no finish line.
No meter marks.
And without any sense except to keep running.
Running.
Working.
Producing.
Contributing.
Running.
The only temporary exit is called “burnout”.
And describes rather a state of mind in which the senselessness cannot be denied anymore.
It is said that only perfectionists suffer from a burnout.

I am far from what one might call a perfectionist.
So...what is it?
If it’s not my fault, why am I suffering?
Why am I spending my life avoiding stagnation?
What keeps me from taking a break?

My studies.
my CV.
my bills.
my pension.
my kids.

What is burnout?
It is the outcome of a process, in which more and more has to be made of less and less.
The last phase in which one is overcome by the feeling of being swallowed into nothingness.
A manifestation of the striving for the profit. To profit those who host this race.
That makes me thinking...I cannot be the only one.
Can I?

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